Project X-tremely Depressing (Hollywood Targets the Teenage Male Demographic)

In case your day was going well, here's some news to consider: years of market research has led Hollywood to the (probably accurate) conclusion that the best way to pitch a movie directly to 15- to 25-year-old males is by removing all semblance of plot, dialogue, and even humor, and instead just throwing in as much profanity and female nudity as possible. The product of this phenomenon, Project X, is a film as packed with terribly depressing implications about my (our) generation as it is with unfunny dick jokes.

Thankfully, a similarly immature film, 21 Jump Street, arrived this weekend to remind us all that stupid teenage comedies can, in fact, still be funny. Everyone's boy Jonah Hill, a young person's comedy icon since the glorious Superbad days, leads Jump Street to unprecedented levels of "wow, that was actually pretty funny"-ness.

Still, if anything is to be gleaned from the previews shown at Jump Street, Hollywood is in for a regression this summer. Let's look quickly at a few of the movies aimed at teen males slated for debuts later this year:


American Reunion (April 6)

The trailer is deceptively funny, but realistically this will be two hours of now aging people hooking up and getting drunk while spouting fart- and sex-related jokes to a non-existent audience composed of 1) younger adults who grew up on the American Pie franchise and are too old now and 2) teenagers who don't care. Still, as stated, the laughs in the preview provide a glimmer of hope.

The Dictator (May 11)

Anyone who saw Bruno knows Sacha Baron Cohen is, brilliance of Borat aside, prone to going way over the top to get a few decent chuckles and a lot of exasperated sighs and rolled eyes. Who's to think we're not in for more of the same when the scene in the Dictator preview that draws the most positive reaction is that of a woman karate chopping a brick in half with her oversized breast? If the trailer is any indicator, this potentially hilarious concept was just mailed in to pander to the lowest common denominator.



That's My Boy (June 15)

Honestly, just look at the still image for the video preview. That's really all you need to know about That's My Boy, the Adam Sandler redemption vehicle that no one asked for after walking out of Jack and Jill after 15 minutes. Andy Samberg, he of Dick in the Box and Jizz In My Pants fame (just read those titles and think about what the world is coming to), will almost surely be put to waste as the straight man to Sandler's unfunny drunk party animal in this tremendous regret of a movie.


Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (June 22)

This is more of a stretch in the sense that 20th Century Fox may see Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter as possessing tremendous mass-market appeal, but it's going to end up being a niche teen male thing because, honestly, who else is stupid enough to pony up the money to see this? The layering of serious Lincoln rhetoric over weird computer rendered vampires vs. 19th century soldiers fight scenes is comical. Sadly, the intended effect of Vampire Hunter is not one of humor.



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